5. Pruflas
Discord, Quarrels, and Falsehood
You are in one of those relationships. You know, the one where you are absolutely so passionately in love, but no one can spend even five minutes with the two of you because you fight incessantly over everything. First, it was deciding where to eat lunch, then it was deciding where to put the cello when you two moved in together, you eat too fast, they talk too loud, you spend too much time with your friends, they leave food in the sink. The petty quarrels and disharmony are never ending. Everyone tells you that the two of you need to break up, which you just cannot understand because you love them so much, even if he or she may sometimes inch you towards committing homicide. The truth is, your relationship needs a good old-fashioned exorcism.
Pruflas, as told by the demonology of Johann Weyer in Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, is a Duke of Hell with 26 legions of demons under his rule. He promotes discord, quarrels and falsehood. Bear in mind, the infidelities and lies cannot be blamed on either party, its Pruflas’ fault.
4. Beezelbub
Gluttony
You know you are battling Beezelbub when, after your third trip up to the all you can eat buffet, returning to a table of full friends with an equally full plate of food, you can’t help but think about how great it will be to go get a triple banana split with whipped cream and nuts when you’re finished feasting on your macaroni and cheese covered chicken leg. After all of this, you probably still don’t realize why it’s impossible for you to lose weight. Pregnancy is possible, but more likely is the presence of the patron demon of gluttony feasting on your soul.
And you should be flattered. Beezelbub is a big deal demon. In fact, he is one of the three most prominent and powerful of the fallen angels, next to only Satan and Leviathan, and made strong showing during the Salem witch trials. But, when he’s not causing jealous murders and enticing war, he’s making you eat more Cheetos with your Denny’s Grand Slam.
3. Asmodeus
Demon of Lust
The new bartender at the place across from your office is starting to look pretty sexy, and it isn’t just the alcohol. You find yourself tipping this bartender extra cash with a wink and a seductive smile, hoping for a chance to really do a number on them in the bathroom. The problem is, you are married, or at least involved. Images of the bartender scantily clad plague your entire afternoons, and sometimes leaking into the evening with strange fantasies of you, the bartender, and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. These strange sexual desires and your near demise by the overpowering nature of your own lust is easily pinned on Asmodeus, the patron demon of that lethal sin.
Keep your pants on, however, for those who fall for the seduction of Asmodeus spend eternity banished to the second level of hell. He is King of hell, and responsible for Lust of the seven deadly sins, his power strongest in November. He can easily be shooed away by the smell generated from placing a fish’s heart and liver on burning cinders, as proven in the Book of Tobit.
2. Verrine
Impatience
On the way to your car, which is annoyingly parked a block away, you are accosted by some environmentalist trying to convince you to save the whales, but as you have no time for the salvation of aquatic animals, and less patience for whiny do-gooders, you grab the pamphlet which is practically shoved into your throat and make a point to rip it up right in front of the irritating activist, and openly littering. Once you are in your car you are lambasted with an unwelcome turn of an elderly gentleman in front of your car. After much honking, which is only making the confused grandpa, who is probably dealing with the beginnings of senility, go slower, you cross into the lane of opposite traffic to make a point of passing him, your middle finger out the window screaming about how there needs to be a maximum driving age to prevent assholes like him from getting in your way. Finally parked, and almost to your destination, you stop for a latte at the Starbucks nearby. Huge mistake. You wait over five minutes for your latte, which you specifically ordered at 172 degrees with no foam, receiving a beverage, which is clearly 168 degrees and topped with a foam mountain. Livid, you throw your drink at the barista, who is still in training, and remove two dollars from the tip jar exclaiming that people like them do not deserve the charity of others.
Everyone you’ve seen today might already suspect you are inflicted with a demonic presence, and its name is Verrine, responsible for impatience. Verrine is a prince of thrones, and is listed in the first hierarchy of demons, as explained by Sebastien Michaelis in Admirable History, with a demon classification apparently shared with him by the demon Berith during an exorcism on a nun. Praying to St Dominic may help you rid this Demon; of course it would probably help if everyone around you weren’t an idiot.
1. Lucifer
All that is Evil
As far as the seven deadly sins are concerned, Lucifer is responsible for pride in mortals. This sin comes from Lucifer’s own pride resulting in his downfall from Heaven. Lucifer loved himself above anything, and without ignorance as an excuse. Ranked highest of angels, with his seat in Heaven next to God, God allowed him power over earth. When God left his seat, however, Lucifer sat himself on the heavenly throne. This outlandish display of Lucifer’s pride started a war among Angels, and when Michael finally succeeded in banishing Lucifer from heaven he was cast down to Earth and called Satan. The angels that followed him in the fall became the demons currently causing all the afflictions of human nature, with Lucifer as the reigning King.
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