5. The Mega Teriyaki Burger
From: Japan
The typical American’s love affair with teriyaki sauce borders on the erotic, so it’s hard to see why McDonald’s Teriyaki Burgers aren’t sold all over the states. They’re however all the rage in Japan, where the sauce originated. But one day the Japanese looked at their puny teriyaki-drenched burgers and said to themselves: “No… this will not suffice.”
And that’s how we got the Mega Teriyaki. Essentially a Big Mac swimming in the sweet, dark, teriyaki sauce and mayo, it’s the only known sandwich in existence which comes with a side order of fries, nuggets or a prefilled Last Will and Testament. OK, that’s obviously not true, but it should be.
4. The McCurry Pan
From: India
McDonald’s is the world’s largest buyer of beef. In India the cow is considered holy. You’d think that the two would be about as compatible as a sack of toddlers and a barrel full of battery acid, but dammit people, there are profits to be made and gold-filled swimming pools to be bought! Say hello to the McCurry Pan.
The McCurry Pan is an original, surprisingly complex McCreation made especially for the Indian market. It’s a crispy bread box of sorts (as in, a box made out of bread) filled with a creamy sauce of mushrooms, broccoli and bell peppers (there also exists a chicken version). Not only does it look awesome, it also actually consists of real vegetables, while back in the US it took months of negotiations before all of us begrudgingly accepted onions and lettuce in our fast food. I actually kinda feel bad for mocking the McCurry Pan and would really like to try it…
3. McLaks
From: Norway
Norway = Norwegian Salmon = Salmon Burger
Bam! I think I am getting a hang of this whole McDonald’s marketing mentality.
All the way back in 1997, which was 14 freaking years ago people (Gosh, we’re old) McDonald’s introduced the salmon sandwich in Norway to some initial success. Unlike their regular fish sandwich, the McLaks was meant to be more regional, healthier and lower on fat, meaning that there actually used to be a large Norwegian demographic which went looking for healthy foods at McDonald’s. But they got what was coming to them when the sandwich was discontinued after giving a whole bunch of people food poisoning. I still can’t decide whether that is hilarious or just a little funny.
2. Gallo Pinto
From: Costa Rica
Not everything has the honor to be called your national dish. Every food item with a claim to such a title has to be rooted deeply in the history and culture of the country it comes from, capturing its essence inside one, tasty, edible package which should be treated with the respect it deserves. Then there’s Gallo Pinto, Costa Rica’s national dish which you can get at their local McDonald’s.
The dish itself is very simple. Basically, it’s fried rice and beans, eaten primarily for breakfast. The McD version is also served with scrambled eggs and sour cream. Man, who said that national heritage cannot be streamlined, packaged and distributed by a multinational conglomerate? Actually it was me, but what I really said is that it “shouldn’t be.”
1. McWedding
From: Hong Kong
Yeah, noticed how this article wasn’t titled the Top 10 Foreign McDonald’s Sandwiches? Hell, even if it was, I would still totally mention this thing because… No, seriously, McDonald’s offers weddings in Hong Kong! What the what? Oh Boy, I know what this is, I died and went to Hack Comedian Heaven where easy targets like this actually exist. Dammit, I bet I died on the toilet too…
Two things that we have to make clear are that McDonald’s restaurants have a generally better image in Asia than in the West and that weddings there are also insanely expensive. Put two and two together and you end up with the McWedding instead of four (that’s the magic power of Asian math, which is better than white people math). The wedding receptions offered by McDonald’s take place in one of their restaurants as the couple and their guests feast on burgers, fries and shakes. Stacks of apple pie act as the cake. No, really.
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