5. Stuff White People Like
White people like lame things! There, we just saved you ten bucks. Seriously, that’s the entire gist of this site-turned-book. Evidently, they enjoy soy lattes, scarves, the World Cup, recycling, dogs, and all other sorts of stupid things that, by extension, non-white people don’t like at all. To give the author credit, he at least wrote up actual essays about each thing white people like, and put some thought into them. This is opposed to the usual viral blog approach: one goofy picture and one sentence such as “They like sushi? Uncooked fish!? That’s sooooo white!”
4. Oolong the Rabbit
And now we start to scrape the bottom of the barrel. Oolong was a rabbit that was photographed by his owner balancing things on his head. Sometimes it was a pancake. Sometimes it was a CD. Sometimes it
was toilet paper. Each time, it was adorable. But adorable enough to compile into coffee table book form? Evidently, because that’s exactly what happened. A 120-page book of free-on-the-Net pictures does in fact exist; perfect for when you want to glance at a cute bunny with something on his head, but have neither the ability to print the pictures yourself, nor an actual bunny that can balance things just as well.
3. Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle
This is the Obama meme, in a nutshell: white background with gigantic text describing a random act of kindness Barack Obama just did for you. That’s all. And that is now a book. In exchange for money that could be used to buy food or real literature, you can buy 366 random sentences such as “Barack Obama remembered your birthday”, or “Barack Obama tuned your guitar for you.” Great for those days when you want to read one meaningless sentence involving the President, but just don’t feel like clicking any links.
2. I Can Has Cheezburger
Remember the rabbit from earlier? Well, multiply that by a billion and you have the cheezburger cats. More than likely you’re aware of this phenomenon; take funny pictures of cats and add comically misspelled captions to make them seem uneducated. There are multiple books compiling these cats and they are, in fact, bestsellers. And don’t you dog people feel superior, as there are books featuring cheezburger dogs saying stupidly misspelled things while riding invisible snowboards or something along that line. To be fair, there are now millions of funny animal pictures on the website, and some people need an author or two to pick their absolute favorites out for them.
1. (Bleep) My Dad Says
This is number 1 for one reason and one reason only: it transcended being a pointless book and became a pointless TV show as well. The original meme was a Twitter feed where a guy recorded a bunch of comically grouchy quotes his Dad may or may not have actually said. It was a monster hit, and naturally spawned a book version for those who hate when their Internet comedy is free. But this somehow was not enough, and CBS greenlighted a TV show based on the idea of a lovably grumpy old man saying off-the-wall one-liners. Despite “lovably grumpy people spewing one-liners” being the central theme of 80% of sitcoms filmed, ever, this one was different because it came from the Internet, and we all know the vast literary muses that pop up there.
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